I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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