woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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