the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Randomize
