I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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