just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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