I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
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