she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
