Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
