There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
She even gives head with a lisp.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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