i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
