Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
