Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Randomize
