I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
