I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
