Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
