I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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