i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Randomize
