Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Randomize
