And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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