Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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