She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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