At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
