so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
you made out with another girl for some wings
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
