I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
you had me at cake vodka
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
