i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
he just fucked me for my cheese..
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