You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
