i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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