How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Randomize
