bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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