6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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