just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
