when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
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