Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
