I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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