You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
