So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
