Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
i was born a porn star she said
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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