whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Randomize
