I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
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