I'm going to jail i love you
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
