If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
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