Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
i would punch a child for taco bell
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize