Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
