I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
