Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
