...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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