you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize