im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
This is classic penis vs brain.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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