Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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