is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
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