last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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