It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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