The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I can't put those talents on a resume
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
