it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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