Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Randomize
