RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
