Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
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